From Halley via Flickr

There’s much said about caregivers’ need for support, but it’s often difficult to know how to help a caregiver when they need it. The tips here approach caregiver help from the perspective of the caregiver’s helper.

You may have already offered to help a caregiver, but not yet been asked. Often caregivers have many reasons for not asking for help. They may appreciate the offer, but think that it would be an imposition to ask. They may not know how to ask. Subconsciously they may feel that to ask would be to abdicate a responsibility. Or most plainly, they may think it too difficult for the person who made the offer.

One way to make it easier for a caregiver to accept your offer of help is to make it as specific as possible:

• “I made an extra big casserole so that you could have some.”
• “Do you need some laundry done? I can come over today and do it.”
• “I’m going to the store. May I pick up a few things for you?”
• “I’ve got the afternoon off tomorrow. May I fill in for you while you run some errands?”

If you’re able to bridge the acceptance gap, consider making an offer to do something on a routine basis:

• Assist with yard work, like mowing the lawn, or snow removal
• Do laundry
• Do some part of the routine housecleaning

Whatever you do, be sure not to add additional stress:

• Be on time and follow through on offers
• If you’re doing yard work, bring your own tools if you can
• Be careful not to be disruptive to the caregiving process
• If there is a group helping out, try designate one person to coordinate assistance

Caregivers can become socially isolated. Try to combine respite with a social occasion. If there is a group of friends/family that can help on a periodic basis, see if the caregiver is amenable to have everyone over for a morning of chores and a potluck lunch.

The keys in helping a caregiver are to be patient in letting them choose the time and circumstances for accepting your assistance, be sure that you’re not adding stress with your offers, and be as consistent as possible in your follow through on your help.

For more info on respite care, see our recent post on respite care for more information.

Many sources of funds for respite care require a level of financial need. If the senior can afford to pay for the care, some of the avenues that might pay for respite care will be closed to you. You should still investigate your options.

Find the right organization

There are a number of reasons why you may find yourself in a situation where respite care, and that’s the first tip for finding help. For instance, commonly seniors who are in need of continuous, or near continuous, care are suffering from chronic, debilitating, progressive diseases like Parkinson’s, or Alzheimer’s. Organizations like Alzheimer’s Association and National Parkinson Foundation have programs that may help pay for respite care. Other organizations like these may offer help with respite care.

If the senior is nearing the end of life and is in the care of Hospice, Medicare will cover inpatient respite care. You can stay in a Medicare-approved facility up to 5 days each time you get respite care. Medicare requires that the patient pays for 5% of the care associated with respite care. For more information on Medicare covered respite care, see their publication (PDF) called Medicare Hospice Benefits.

Go local

One of the best ways to find help with respite care and possible sources of funds are to talk to people locally. Both the Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s sites have ways of finding local chapters and support groups. Ask them what they would recommend for respite care in your area.

The Eldercare Locator, a public service of the Administration on Aging, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, can help you find care locally. They have a good page on respite care.

Check out Chapel Hill Training-Outreach Project. They have a respite locator to help you find a respite care provider in your area. They may be able to give you help in finding a way to pay. They also have links to state respite coalitions that may help.

Consider contacting a SHIP counselor who may be able to help guide you to help on respite care.

Catholic Social Services and other church-based programs often help with respite care.

Other considerations

Not all respite care is alike. In some cases, the need is for a day, or even a part of a day; time enough to get away and have time to relax for a few hours. In other cases, it’s truly time for a week’s vacation. Each type of respite care has different solutions. Investigate your options for both, because you’ll likely need both.

Let us know if you have any tips on paying for respite care.

Related Links

Alzheimer’s Association: Respite Care Guide (PDF)

Flickr image by Krikit

According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), there are currently an estimated 21% of the U.S. population providing unpaid “care to friends and family 18 and older. This translated into 44.4 million caregivers in the U.S. today.”  

According to Caring.com, “every caregiver needs respite time if he or she is to last. It may be hard to think of yourself and your needs at this time, but if you don’t, your life will be consumed by your duties and you will burn out. Respite (a temporary break from responsibility) is not a luxury, it is a necessity.”

The caring.com article explains that there are a variety of respite care options:

• have a friend or family member stay with the patient
• take him/her to an adult daycare
• hire a professional sitter or caretaker to come to your home to look after the patient
• enroll the patient in a support group

The Alzheimer’s Association explains that “Respite care services are offered through community organizations, agencies or residential care facilities. The most common respite care services are in-home care and adult day centers.”  

The Department of Health & Human Services provides readers with a national eldercare locator. 

The Chapel Hill Training-Outreach Project, Inc. also provides caregivers with a national respite care locator. Do not be turned off by the fact that the site is focused on respite care for children ….  the locator is for patients and caregivers of all ages.