Tips for Communicating with Someone with Dementia
The skills that help us successfully navigate the world around us don’t necessarily work when we’re with someone who has dementia. Dementia can be caused by a number of things including neurological disorders such as Alzheimer’s disease, blood flow-related (vascular) disorders such as multi-infarct disease, inherited disorders such as Huntington’s disease, and infections such as HIV.
Whatever the cause, dementia is characterized by memory loss, attention loss, and/or disorientation. In order to effectively manage the day-to-day activities, while treating the person with respect, a different approach is required when interacting with someone with dementia.
In order to avoid confusion, consider these tips:
- Be direct – Instead of asking what they want for dinner tonight, you can say, “I thought I’d make lasagna for dinner.”
- Be brief – Focus on the core activity. Instead of discussing all of the activities associated with getting ready for bed, try, “Let’s get ready for bed now.”
- Set the context – When someone comes to visit, give names and a few points about the people, “Paul and Susan, our friends from next door are here for a visit.”
- Speak slowly – Don’t expect an immediate reply. Be patient.
Don’t assume too much about how someone with dementia is processing what you say. In some cases, or some days, it may be very little, or it may be everything. Instead, keep an eye on their behavior. Also, don’t assume that they can always tell you what they need. Do they have any unmet needs that they are unable to communicate?
- Do they need to use the restroom?
- Are they thirsty?
- Are they hungry?
Are they trying to tell you something else?
- Has their routine been disrupted?
- Are they too hot or too cold?
Be aware of how your tone of voice and body language may affect them. Though they may not always fully understand what you say, it doesn’t mean that they won’t perceive your frustration, or anger. Having a relaxed, positive demeanor can make them feel at ease and more comfortable with the situation. And related to that, be patient. Know that you won’t always get somewhere on time. Things won’t always go as you intially imagined. Being prepared to change plans, or have them changed for you. Roll with the punches as they say.
Remember, these tips are as much for the benefit of the caregiver as they are for the person receiving the care. They should help you avoid the anger an frustration that can result from trying to communicate with someone whose communication skills may, or may not, always be there.
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Very nice summary of how to communicate. I would like to add just one thing from my experience with this population. Besides awareness of your tone of voice and body language (which is paramount, don’t neglect this advice for a second), be aware of your own mood. I’ve noticed that people with dementia have a radar for this. If you come into a room pissed off about something, or you are just frustrated to the Nth degree – even if you moderate your choice of words, smile and talk softly, the other person will pick up on your mood and reflect it right back at you. Then you will have an agitated angry demented person to deal with…and I am sure that will not improve your original mood.
just a thought…good luck to all caregivers.