Tips for Caring for Your Parents from Afar
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A January 31, 2008 online article entitled, Caring for Mom and Dad from Afar on CNNHealth.com, reports that “Between 5 million and 7 million Americans care for an older relative from afar – - at least one hour away, according to Family Caregiver Alliance. ‘The need is so great, and the out-of-town kids feel so helpless,’ says Dr. Eric De Jonge, director of geriatrics at Washington Hospital Center.’”
The article provides the following tips for making the situation a bit easier.
- Appoint one sibling and one doctor to be in charge of the care.
- Fly into town for an in-person visit with the appointed doctor.
- Find a doctor who is willing/able to keep in touch with you via email. It is quick and avoids the endless string of voice mail messages.
- Build a strong network of friends and neighbors to provide additional support.
Please visit the article online for detailed explanations to each of the tips outlined above.
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Thank you for suggesting this article. There are a couple of things though that bear discussion. The first is, in the article; after the tips, it says ‘Don’t expect your parents to welcome your help with open arms’. That is SO true. I have seen countless situations where the parent is fighting tooth-and-nail with the concerned adult child. This resistance will be a huge stumbling block to any plans you have for long-distance care of your parents. Related to this point, parents generally insist upon their own doctor, usually the one they have been using for years. So TIP 3, is completely dependent on your parent’s doctor.
Finally, I would add one more tip – try at some point to get your parent to sign a DPOA Durable Power of Attorney. Explain to them that this is to insure their wishes are honored should they ever become unable to speak for themselves (which might happen with a heart attack or stroke). But this also will serve as your ace in the hole, should your parent ever develop dementia or Alzheimer’s.