How to Help a Caregiver
From Halley via Flickr
There’s much said about caregivers’ need for support, but it’s often difficult to know how to help a caregiver when they need it. The tips here approach caregiver help from the perspective of the caregiver’s helper.
You may have already offered to help a caregiver, but not yet been asked. Often caregivers have many reasons for not asking for help. They may appreciate the offer, but think that it would be an imposition to ask. They may not know how to ask. Subconsciously they may feel that to ask would be to abdicate a responsibility. Or most plainly, they may think it too difficult for the person who made the offer.
One way to make it easier for a caregiver to accept your offer of help is to make it as specific as possible:
- “I made an extra big casserole so that you could have some.”
- “Do you need some laundry done? I can come over today and do it.”
- “I’m going to the store. May I pick up a few things for you?”
- “I’ve got the afternoon off tomorrow. May I fill in for you while you run some errands?”
If you’re able to bridge the acceptance gap, consider making an offer to do something on a routine basis:
- Assist with yard work, like mowing the lawn, or snow removal
- Do laundry
- Do some part of the routine housecleaning
Whatever you do, be sure not to add additional stress:
- Be on time and follow through on offers
- If you’re doing yard work, bring your own tools if you can
- Be careful not to be disruptive to the caregiving process
- If there is a group helping out, try designate one person to coordinate assistance
Caregivers can become socially isolated. Try to combine respite with a social occasion. If there is a group of friends/family that can help on a periodic basis, see if the caregiver is amenable to have everyone over for a morning of chores and a potluck lunch.
The keys in helping a caregiver are to be patient in letting them choose the time and circumstances for accepting your assistance, be sure that you’re not adding stress with your offers, and be as consistent as possible in your follow through on your help.
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Absolutely right on. you describe 99% of the caregivers I have met over the years. Real sad. and frustrating. and unnecessary. There should be more help avail. for caregivers. Personally, I focus on the stress management side of things. When the Alz. Assoc. says 50% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for, I want to help. Most stress solutions are impossible for caregivers. But I encourage them to try ‘guided imagery’. It does not take long, cost nothing or close to it, and is tremendously effective. I give a free track from my CD to those that sign up for my newsletter at http://www.caregiverrelief.com.
Please keep writing, you do a marvelous job of it.